Great Neighbors Make Great Neighborhoods

Here’s a comment I read online that got me thinking about my neighbors differently.

“I’ve had cause lately to examine my cultural prejudices. I’m not talking about international culture. I’m talking about family culture.

Family culture is about ‘the way we do things in our family.’ It’s the feeling we get when we go to someone else’s house for dinner for the first time, and it feels ‘foreign.’

Like most people, I measure other families to my own standards, and of course, my standards are always higher. For instance, I have my son mow the grass, rather than using a gardener as most of my neighbors do. It’s because I want him to learn to do unpleasant chores responsibly. I judge my neighbors for coddling their sons. So imagine my surprise when I was chatting with one of these neighbors, and she confided in me: ‘I was wondering why you force your son to mow the lawn. It seems so degrading.’

That’s what got me thinking about my cultural prejudices and wondering which families I’m judging because they do things differently. I’ve resolved to be friendlier and if the chance presents itself, to talk about our differences. I may not have liked my neighbor’s approach to talking about my son, but it did open up both our eyes, and we had a good laugh.”

At the very least, this comment reminds us to look at our neighbors with more empathy, and to notice if we’ve pulled away from them because they’re too “different” from us. I believe that great neighbors make great neighborhoods, and we’re all charged with being great neighbors. Sincerely, Melanie Bowers Your Consultant For Life P.S. If you’ve got a story to tell, you can reach me at melaniebowers@gmail.com or by calling me at 801-910-7436.

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Are You Listening?

We’ve all heard that listening is the greatest compliment we can show to another person. Yet we are all constantly guilty of what Steven Covey called “autobiographical listening.” That’s listening with only half an ear, while in our heads we are busy preparing what to say next.

It is said that Franklin Delano Roosevelt, US President, so despised this, that he devised a test. When a petitioner asked how he was doing, he would say, “I murdered my grandmother this morning.” Most of the time he got a noncommittal response, proving the other person was probably rehearsing what to say next. (Although, one person trumped him by saying, “I’m sure she had it coming to her.”) read more

What If You Had One Year?

What would you do if you only had one year to live? The novelist Anthony Burgess found out when he was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor at age 40.

Burgess was working as a teacher in Brunei and had already published several novels. But when he got the devastating news and was sent back to England, he had to decide how he would provide for his wife after his death. His answer: Become a full-time writer.

During the last year of his life, he wrote five and a half novels, so one story goes. Ultimately he received some good news: His cancer had gone into remission. Instead of dying, he embarked on a lifelong career as a novelist, winning multiple awards and earning great fame for his book A Clockwork Orange, which was turned into a movie by legendary director Stanley Kubrick. He did eventually die…in 1993 at the age of 76 of lung cancer. read more

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Do you have the courage—and creativity—to really follow your dreams? Career coach Laura Simms once decided she really wanted to meet Aaron Sorkin, the writer behind the TV show The West Wing and the movie The Social Network, among others. Reaching him personally would be difficult, if not impossible, so she took an unconventional approach.

Now, many people say things like, “I’d like to meet this famous person.” But most people would not then go about making it happen.

But Laura believed in the impossible. She started a blog called “Letters to Aaron Sorkin,” and she posted short letters there every few days. Eventually Sorkin heard about the blog and emailed her personally. In the meantime, her friends rallied around her, and someone got her tickets to a screening of one of Sorkin’s films where the screenwriter addressed the audience afterward and they spoke in person. Not only did she achieve her goal, she had lots of fun along the way. Most of us would say to ourselves, “Oh, I can’t do something like that. It’s like stalking, or begging.” But Laura just saw it differently. And because she saw it differently, it was different. The experience she had was different, and the experience others had of her was different. When it comes to creating your dreams, how do you see things? Sincerely, Melanie Bowers  Your Consultant For Life

P.S. Please stay in touch and let me know about great things happening in your life.  If you need real estate help, you can reach me at melaniebowers@gmail.com or by calling me at 801-910-7436.
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The More Precious Gift

In a recent report by Oxfam (January 2014), a researcher pointed out a startling conclusion about wealth. He did a simple calculation. He totaled the income of the poorest half of the world—all 3.5 billion people. Then he looked at the world’s wealthiest people one by one.

Starting at the top, he added their income until it equaled the income of the poorest half of our population. The number of wealthy people required to equal the income of 3.5 billion people? Just 85. Oxfam ranks widening income disparities as the second greatest worldwide risk in the coming 12 to 18 months. read more

Gratitude

   Often in the pressure of the daily grind, we take many of life’s blessings for granted. We accept the teaching of our teachers, the ministry of our ministers, the leadership of our leaders, and the friendship of our friends. Each of these people has contributed to us being who we are, but we often accept their contributions without noticing.    This spring, along with our sense of renewal, hope, and promise, let us also remember that one of the greatest gifts we can give is to acknowledge someone’s contribution to us. The following story is a reminder of how powerful that gift can be.    A university professor began reflecting on the people who’d had a positive impact on his life.    In particular he remembered a schoolteacher who’d gone out of her way to instill in him a love of poetry. He hadn’t seen or spoken to her in many years, but he located her address and sent her a letter of thanks. A short time later, he received this reply: My dear Willie,     I cannot tell you how much your note meant to me. I am in my eighties, living alone in a small room, cooking my own meals, lonely, and, like the last leaf of autumn, lingering behind. You will be interested to know that I taught school for 50 years and yours is the first note of appreciation I ever received. It came on a blue-cold morning, and it cheered me as    nothing has in many years.    The teacher’s note brought the professor to tears—and then he began searching for others who’d shaped his life, just to say thanks.

   Who in your current or early life deserves your appreciation? This March as we’re coming out of financial crisis around the world, there is much to give thanks for. Don’t forget those who’ve made you possible.

Sincerely,

Melanie Bowers Your Consultant For Life

P.S. Please stay in touch and let me know about great things happening in your life.  If you need real estate help, you can reach me at melaniebowers@gmail.com or by calling me at 801-910-7436.
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